My genes are a part of what makes me who I am. My DNA is inherited and so are some of my emotions. If I observe my reactions to a particular situation, I start to notice a similarity in the response that I give out, and, what one of my parent gives out. Have I identified with my parent through the response? without even being aware of it? Is something being passed on? Is it a gift or is it a burden? Does this response still help me or is it now being carried out of habit? So many questions and I see all these answers emerge in constellations.
Through this work, I have learned to connect with my roots and to disconnect with what is not mine to shoulder. We carry so much with us, without even realizing that we are doing this. We carry pain, stress, lack, unease, discomfort, illness, addictions, habits, and we think that is how it is supposed to be.
That is not the bigger plan for us. There is a better way of being without our invisible burdens. We can travel baggage-free in this lifetime. We can feel the lightness. We can feel love and belonging. We can be the best versions of ourselves not imitated versions of others.
Where do we come from? Where are we headed? I think these are the two most important questions that bring life in balance. To know my roots, where my people came from, what was life for them, and finally, an agreement in the way they lived their life leads me to a place where I am in agreement with my life as it is.
With constellation work I have loved the exploration into my roots and who I am. The little pieces that fit and complete the puzzle, have been an interesting discovery and also brought me to a place where I can acknowledge the biological inheritance passed down over generations.
Acts of courage, self-independence, fun-loving, easy-going, and so on can be inherited traits. Sometimes I get glimpses of these traits when I open a constellation and it feels so right to know that somewhere in my lineage there is a connection that belongs to the family system. There is strength in knowing of this connection.
Just like a living bridge, these connections need to be tended to, slowly, one at a time. I read somewhere that the native people living in Meghalaya, grow living bridges out of tree roots that can stand strong for centuries. That is the power of our roots – once we understand them, we stand strong in our foundation. We reject them, we stand on shaky ground – always. Our lives move when we fully see and understand that our roots are our inheritance to us from a long line that we call our family system. When we accept this system in our hearts, we have connected with our roots once again. In words of Toko-pa Turner “we can coax, weave, and tend to the roots of our separation – and in doing so, restore our membership in belonging”